


The Snaking Road

by Freedoms_Champion



Series: Founders Crack [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Epic quests, Gen, Godric is dumb, Godric will befriend anything, Hogwarts Founders Era, Salazar's only friends are snakes, This is crack, prepare for nicknames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freedoms_Champion/pseuds/Freedoms_Champion
Summary: Godric Gryffindor is on a quest to find dragon eggs to pay the goblins to forge his sword. He's ready for anything that might cross his path, magic or muggle.He's not ready for a meddling snake, a cross wizard, and the friendship of a lifetime.He is, however, ready to annoy Salazar with insane choices, dumb nicknames, and his hat.
Relationships: Godric Gryffindor & Salazar Slytherin
Series: Founders Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765558
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	The Snaking Road

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy Godric annoying Salazar to death.
> 
> This is crack, so any inconsistencies or out of character behavior should not be taken seriously.
> 
> Have a great time!

Godric Gryffindor lifted his hat from his head to wipe sweat from his forehead and carefully replaced it. Hattie MacBonnet, as he had dubbed it, was the receptacle for all his worldly goods and while he’d performed the Undetectable Extension Charm wonderfully (in his opinion), it had a few flaws. If he wasn’t careful to avoid jostling the hat, things were apt to fall on his head.

Ah, well, it was good enough for him. It was a gorgeous day and he was on unfamiliar ground! The goblins had finally reached a pact with him and all he had to do was bring them dragon eggs so they would forge his sword.

Godric would have skipped for joy, but the last time he’d done that, his cauldron had smashed into his skull. He settled for a chortle of pleasure, which mutated into full-blown cackling before he could rein it in. No matter, there were no one else on the road for him to disturb.

In fact, Godric hadn’t seen anyone for more than a day. Unlike most wizards, Godric actually enjoyed traveling by foot, passing muggles on the road and seeing all kinds of new folk. Not seeing anyone gave him a funny shiver up his back.

He didn’t let it worry him. It was to be expected that he’d find fewer people near the dragons he wished to locate, and it wasn’t as if there was much danger he couldn’t handle in the world. He was a skilled wizard, had accounted well for himself in several duels, and had mastered the muggle art of fisticuffs, so even muggles wouldn’t be much trouble.

He was ready for anything.

“Myrtle, come back!”

A snake shot out of the undergrowth and wrapped itself around his leg before he could move away. A dark-haired man appeared on the road a second later, dressed in dark green robes that were liberally splattered with mud.

Well, Godric hadn’t been ready for that. He hopped slightly and shook his foot, hoping to dislodge the snake.

“Ah, is this yours?” he asked the strange wizard.

Keen grey eyes fixed on him immediately. Godric gazed back fearlessly, although the effect was ruined slightly by his wobbles for balance as he tried again to shake the snake away.

“Stop that. Just hold still,” the wizard snapped. He made a rough hissing noise and pointed his finger at the ground near his feet. The snake writhed a little tighter around Godric’s leg, hissing back.

“Give over and come back here!” the stranger snarled, stabbing his finger move emphatically.

“You’re a Parselmouth!” Godric exclaimed, forgetting about the snake for a moment. “Bloody brilliant! Will you journey with me? I have need to seek out dragons so that the goblins will forge me a wicked sword!”

The stranger frowned at Godric, his long, expressive face taking on a familiar expression. Nearly everyone he met looked like that eventually, like they were trying to decide if he was cracked or not.

“Why would I be of any help to you with dragons? More importantly, who are you?”

“Godric Gryffindor, from the moorlands,” he said proudly, sweeping Hattie MacBonnet off his head and bowing expansively. The snake took advantage of it and wrapped around his arm instead.

“Ewg, please take your slimy friend away,” Godric said, holding it toward the other wizard.

“Salazar Slytherin. I live in the area,” he said, stepping forward and unraveling the snake. “I can’t go haring off in search of dragons!”

“Of course, you can!” Godric replied, throwing an arm around Salazar’s thin shoulders. “Your sweetheart and family can spare you, I’m sure. A wizard of your talents will be invaluable to me! Dragons are like snakes, you know, and you may be able to speak to them. Wouldn’t you like to learn if it is true?”

“Not especially,” Salazar said, sliding away from him. “You misunderstand. I have no desire to leave my home. My snakes need me.”

The snake in his hands hissed, swaying slightly as it reared its body high.

Salazar scowled. “That is beside the point, Myrtle,” he growled.

“Well, should you change your mind, I will be somewhere along this road,” Godric said. He really wanted Salazar to come, if only for the chance to have some company. Even an odd, snake-loving wizard would be better to talk to than Hattie MacBonnet.

He strode forth, checking to make sure the satchel of eggs at his side was still intact. They were Welsh Greens, common enough, but the goblins had stressed the need for variety. He intended to reach the Continent as soon as he could in order to find some rarer breeds.

When night fell, Godric still hadn’t seen anyone other than Salazar, so he made camp by the side of the road. That wasn’t a hardship; he had a tent, waterproofed and snug, and more than enough food to carry him to the coast even without using magic to duplicate it.

Footsteps alerted him to someone approaching. Godric gripped his wand in one hand and kept turning his sausages with the other. He wasn’t particularly worried about bandits.

Salazar Slytherin stepped into the light of the campfire; his features set in a formidable scowl.

“I am not here for any adventures,” he said coldly.

“Are you here because you lost a row with your snakes?” Godric asked, pulling another plate from his hat and loading them both with food. Salazar’s face blackened even farther, but he accepted the meal.

“I’m here because my snakes think you will do yourself an injury without someone of sense along to prevent it,” he answered, biting off every word sharply.  
“Very kind of the squirmy beasts. Have you brought any of them with you?”

Godric wasn’t fond of snakes, but he’d have to make an exception for Salazar’s special friends, he supposed.

Salazar gave him a look nearly as deadly as the classic basilisk. “No, I haven’t brought any. I am, however, likely to attract them on your travels.”

“If they hiss anything useful, I’d be glad to hear of it,” Godric said, beaming. Maybe his new friend wasn’t very excited about it, but Godric had a feeling this adventure would be his best one yet.


End file.
